Godot, I’m loving the wait…

One of the most powerful discourses I’ve read till date will have to be Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. I first read it as part of my graduation syllabus. For the first few lectures, I was quite lost. Didn’t want to study the play for anything; couldn’t comprehend what was conveyed… I remember reading the whole play and trying to figure what Beckett was trying to drive home. What’s the point of writing a something so vague and so eccentric, if I may say so.

Suddenly one day, I thought to myself, why sit and dissect so much? I was studying literature not biology! I decided to read the play in a new light. I picked up the book, went and sat next to the window and started re-reading it. And that was the first time I learnt what wonders an open mind can work!

The first thing that struck me was the diverse subjects thrown up in the play. Literally thrown up because you are not given a chance to comprehend one concept before Vladimir (Didi) and Estragon (Gogo) (the two main characters of the play) launch onto the next one. From Eiffel Tower to Bible, to trees and time, language, bank accounts, carrots, slavery, a brighter past, memories and erection! Actually the play talks about a lot more (I’d like you to read the play, so won’t write more :D).

I figured that all these scattered words / images are very much a part of our lives. We need all of them at different points of our existence. But when I look at my life as a whole, all of these remain scattered and inconsequential tidbits that pepper my life.

Secondly, it’s Didi and Gogo who fascinate me. But what’s new about this, you’d ask. They are the only two characters and since I read the play quite often how would I not be anything but captivated by them? I like the poignant relationship the duo share. They fight, bicker, hit each other but still they hug whenever they feel like. In a way, I think, their relationship is of an individual with his / her life. That’s what we do with our lives - different things at the same point and same things at different points.

And what I just love about the two is that they are in pits, they are desperately hopeless and in shambles, but they are not aimless. They have a purpose in life. I don’t know where they came from or where they are headed for. But they sure know what they are waiting for. They are waiting for Godot. Like all of us are waiting for something or the other.
At times, when I look at myself, I think I too am waiting for Godot. I don’t know who / what she / he / it is. I don’t think I’ll ever know that. But Beckett always keeps me inspired to wait for Godot and I love the wait!

http://samuel-beckett.net/Waiting_for_Godot_Part1.html

Words are nothing but...

birds in flight
or a directionless kite.

states of mind
and veins that bind.

mice in a cage
or ink on a page.

being unsure
or unknown that lure.

hair flying
and best friend lying.

mindgames
or secret shames.

sweat of love
and life's treasure trove.

they are bodies that slog,
no wonder I blog!

Resolutions, yeah whatever!

Quit smoking, get up early, read every night, lose weight, build six-pack abs, save, cut down on booze - the list is endless...

What are New Year resolutions, after all? We try and think of a unique one every year and try to follow it, well... diligently, for a while. Till the time it holds our attention, we love to stick by it , let it be a part of us. Soon after, when we are too preoccupied by our lives, the urge for an occassional drag creeps again. It could well be a craving for a piece of chocolate cake or sleeping those extra hours. Whatever, it is, it comes back and, more often than not, we give in to it.

Late last year, I thought why not have a New Year resolution for 2006? I've always disciplined myself to achieving something that I really wanted... In fact I even started working towards it. However, two days into it, I'm feeling uneasy. Deep within, I feel, it might not happen. At times discipline, commitment, dedication, devotion, sacrifice remain mere words in the dictionary. They are just not meant to work for you.

So what do you do about your resolution? Just chuck it into the dustbin, which your life already is, and enjoy that fag, that cake, that booze or that restless sleep...

My most memorable New Year's

Dec 31, 2005, was my most memorable New Year's eve. For the very first time, I was working on New Year's. And the best part of it was that I was loving it...

It isn't as if I've partied on every Dec 31. I've spend them in different ways - with my family, friends, alone. This has been the first time I was in office and was completely occupied with work. The atmosphere at the work place was quite different, if I may say so. Some reacted by wearing black, some just chose not to speak a work, some kept demanding an early exit.

I didn't know how differently to react 'coz I was liking the work I was given. Frankly, it was like any other day. I was working just as hard and I was enjoying it. In fact the day was more exciting than most others. Work that came my way was really interesting... something that I've always wanted to do.

The atmosphere became lighter with some soulful French jazz to begin with... We then cut a cake, but this was way before midnight. We called for pizzas for dinner and an over-enthusiastic colleague emptied all the chilli flakes on the pizzas. So, u can imagine, what a great dinner we might have had :)) When we stepped out of the ladies' after dinner, all the tissue rolls were exhausted! I was wiping my eyes and nose with my towel 20 minutes after dinner!! Then all of us emptied our bags to hunt for some sweets and found two chocolates and shared them. I swear I've never gobbled a chocolate so fast!

We finally left office at 11.30 pm. Though my colleague (who lives close-by) and I were aware that the roads would be crowded, we took a cab back home. Throughtout the way, we were craning our necks to see the awesome fireworks that kept lighting the sky from time to time... Though the chill breeze kept banging r ears and numbing r noses, we were still letting the luminous sky reflect its light on our eyes...

When the clock struck 12, my colleague and we hugged each other. I tried calling at home and my friends but the network was jammed. In fact my phone did not show signal for a good 15 minutes...

I reached home very early on Jan 1, 2006. Before getting off, I wished the cabbie a happy New Year! I could hear a melange of loud music from all over the place. Surprisingly, as I opened the door as noiselessly as possible, I found everything was really quiet at home. Everyone was asleep after wrapping up the family get-together...

The living room smelt of good food, there were traces of promising dreams in my bedroom. I hopped onto my bed, but lay wide awake, waiting for something to arrive...

i know the title isn't original...

i know the title isn't original...
as i rinsed all my creative juices to find a name
for my blog,
each of those originals were taken.

Cracked Portraits by Agha Shahid Ali is one of my favourite poems...
so i thought why not call my blog after this poem.

also did so hoping that someday i write as well as he did...

http://www.literarydictionary.com/php/speople.php?rec=true&UID=5903